Can I Save My Marriage...Its up To YOU

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."

Get Your Guy Back - The Gals Guide to Making Up

How do you get guy back?  How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special?  This is your “get guy back” gal’s guide to making up.

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault.  If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere.  If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed.  Yes, the cheater is morally responsible for the cheating.  The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon.  But the fault lies in both party’s laps.  You both contributed to

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget.  True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident.  You never bring it up again.  You never let it cloud your relationship.  If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it.  Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment.  You’re not Britney Spears.  It’s not cute.  When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing.  Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit.  This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back.  You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship.  Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted.  It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend.  It may take time to rebuild the trust.  If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again.  Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy.  Sometimes, you just have to move on.  If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships.  While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you.  Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there.  Getting your guy back may stop you from meeting him!

What To Do When Avoiding a Break Up

We all know how painful a love break up can be.  If you thought back after the relationship ended, you probably saw all the signs that you didn’t recognize before. Remembering those very signs can help you prevent a break up in the future.  They can also help you get back together after a split.

One sure sign of impending love break up is the lack of physical contact. This doesn’t just mean sex.  If your partner suddenly stops having an interest in sex, that’s a good sign that a break up is coming.  But the normal flow and rhythm of a relationship has times when there’s lots of sex and times when there’s not much. This is natural.

A love break up is probably on the horizon though, if your partner stops holding your hand for no apparent reason.  Or he or she stops putting an arm over your shoulder at the movies or in public when he or she always did it before. Any sudden changes like not touching you much outside the bedroom when your partner was always very affectionate before could signal problems.

If your partner is actually becoming uncomfortable with your touch, then you definitely need to have a conversation with your partner about what’s going on.  Don’t just assume that because your partner flinched away from your touch that there’s about to be a love break up, though.  Many things can cause a person to not want to be touched at any given moment.

He or she might think that your touch signals that it’s time to have sex, if you’re not very affectionate except when you want to be intimate.  And maybe your partner isn’t in the mood for sex now and chose to show you that by moving away from your touch.  That doesn’t mean you’re headed for a love break up.

Your partner might simply not feel good. Every change in a person’s behavior doesn’t signal an impending love break up or even anything wrong with the relationship.  You have to watch them closely for a while to determine if some behavior is an occasional thing, something brought on only during certain times, or if it’s a permanent part of the person’s make up.

Catching your partner in lies, even what seem like small and harmless ones, could be a sign of problems, too. After all, if a lie is small and harmless, why tell it in the first place?  Where there’s one tiny lie, larger and more damaging lies can grow. Don’t become convinced it’s a love break up right away though. People lie about many things that aren’t bad, like surprise parties and reunions.  Your partner might be trying to keep a harmless and fun secret like that, instead of scheming about a love break up.

Communication is always the best way to find out what your partner is feeling.   Be watchful of your partner's  patterns.  Don't act suspicious, but try to keep the door of conversation open.  Perhaps your partner hasn't been happy for a while.    Ask if everything is okay.   Tell them that you feel that you are growing apart.  Try to find the root to the problems and work on a way to resolve them.  Honesty and sincere sharing of one another's feelings may be the key to avoiding a break up.

T. Dub has information concerning this topic HERE.

Advice on Relationships - How To Keep a Woman Happy

Do you know how to keep a woman happy?  Here is some advice on relationships for men.

The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself.  Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show.  But a confident man is the sexiest beast around.  Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women?  That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.

Next, you should do the little things.  This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time.  Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.

This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her.  You shouldn’t take her for granted.  Let her know that you value her.

Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her.  Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at.  They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.”  This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women.  Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children.  They can’t help it.  That’s how evolution designed them.  So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.

You should try to make her laugh.  While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor.  So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.

The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests.  It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers.  If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it.  This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.

Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes.  And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt.  So, shave on weekends.  Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men.  In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her.  You can unland her just as easily.

She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends.  A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over.  So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents.  A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices.  Make an effort.

You should always be considerate of her feelings.  Women are less stable than guys.  Part of this is hormonal.  When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.

The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things.  At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss.  But, after a while, these things become routine.  If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up.  Try something new.  It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.

So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.

You might want to check out "The Magic of Making Up" yourself.