Have you ever seen that couple that seems to be perfect for
one another and always exhibiting a love that seems like a fairytale. You see love in their eyes and they seem as
if they are lost in each others love.
They actually talk to one another. They interact by touching and they appear to
be the only couple in existence as they share one another’s space.
I would guess that
All of us at some point have thought….. “Why can’t I have that ?
Have you tried to mimic some of the things you see, only to have your feelings hurt. Have you been totally ignored or had your
loving gestures thrown back in your face ??
If you find yourself in this position I will go out on a limb and
say that there is probably 1 thing you haven’t done in your relationship.
I will tell you that once you start doing this…you’ll open the
gates of passion, as well as
establishing a deep fulfilling relationship with your man. Best of ALL…..a lasting relationship !!
Let me show you how...
….How to Make Your Relationship the Envy of Your Friends...
There's no doubt that relationships can be complicated
beasts...but that doesn't mean they can't be GREAT...you just have to follow
the formula for success. It's the SAME
formula that those "perfect couples" you envy follow.
Here it is:
* Step 1: Learn what
DESTRUCTIVE ingredients tear a relationship apart.
* Step 2: Look at
what CONSTRUCTIVE ingredients make a relationship great.
* Step 3: Eliminate
the destructive ingredients one by one.
* Step 4: Add the
constructive ingredients one by one.
* Step 5: Rinse and
repeat this process as your circumstances change.
The result?
A relationship that's truly fulfilling with a man who
showers you with attention, love, respect, and caring...all without you having
to twist his arm!
It sounds simple...and it is, in theory, but the devil is in
the details of how exactly this all gets done.
The WORST Destructive Ingredient to Eliminate Immediately...
Let's first take a look at getting rid of what I've found is THE single worst
destructive ingredient - and that's contempt. What do I mean by "contempt"? Let me give you an example.
Okay, so you and your man have gotten into an argument. Are you simply disagreeing or are you yelling
and screaming at each other? Is it
getting personal? Do you feel you are on the attack and he is on the defensive
or vice versa? Has anybody been brought to tears? Arguments are okay, but when it starts to get
personal, when you start attacking each other, putting each other down, showing
contempt for each other, that's when a vicious cycle ensues.
With every action, there is a reaction. That's stepping over
into a law of physics, but it applies here: if you say something in a certain
tone of voice, you may get a response from your man that "matches"
your tone of voice. If you show contempt, he'll show contempt, and then you'll
get into a destructive game of trying to one-up each other for the worst put
down and then all bets are off. This is a damaging cycle that you want to avoid at ALL
costs.
Your first step is to immediately stop the contempt and
personal attacks - this can be hard sometimes, especially if he's personally
attacking you, but it's where this whole process HAS to start.
Instead of responding with an equivalent personal attack,
what exactly ARE you supposed to do?
Well, glad you asked!
Add This Ingredient to Open Up Your Man's Heart...
You've probably heard the old saying, "You catch more
bees with honey." It means that
there are two ways of saying something: one is sweet like honey; the other is
tart like vinegar.
For example, if you're arguing and he says, "You know,
you're really clingy," stop yourself from reacting defensively and trying
to come up with your own zinger to "one-up" him. If you want to melt his heart, that's not the
road to success.
Instead, go for the honey-sweet approach: take a deep
breath, count to five... and then calmly say, "If you feel you need more
space, then let's discuss that."
You just threw him for a loop-but in a good way, because you're offering
to consider his needs. You just took the
heat out of his fire, and instead showed him you care. That will remind him that you're the dream
girl he first fell in love with - warm, caring and loving.
You can't necessarily directly control what your man says or
how he reacts, but you DO have control over what YOU say and do. And this ultimately indirectly influences how
your man reacts and whether this is just a bump in the road or if it's going to
turn into an unmitigated relationship disaster.
Do THIS to Enjoy a Honeymoon Forever...
To have a successful relationship, one that draws your man
to you like a bee to honey, avoid those destructive relationship ingredients -
such as tart words - and substitute them with a little honey.
The more you do this, the more likely your relationship will
be successful - and the envy of your friends.
I want you to think over what destructive habits you may
have right now that could inadvertently be tearing your relationship apart and
driving your man away. Then think about
how you can respond instead with honey - it'll be tough at first because your
initial reaction will be an emotional one, but over time, after practice, it'll
become second nature. It's not your
fault: it's easy for couples to fall into bad relationship patterns.
Your man has his fair share of things he says and does that
drive you away too, but you have the power to influence him to do better. Follow this advice and pretty soon, you and your man will be
that "perfect couple" that everyone ELSE envies.
(Taken from original article written by Randall E. Bennett - a licensed counselor and relationship expert)
P.S. Avoiding those
poisonous "tart" words is probably the single most important piece of
advice.
There are actually a total of 13 healthy relationship skills
that Randall has identified over 25 years of practice that women who seem to
"have it all" use to get their husbands to treat them the way they
want.
He receives questions all of the time, and he has put together
a short video that explains several more of these - ones you can put to use
right away.
These skills are not manipulation, artificial, or trickery;
they are healthy ways these women interact with their men to create an
atmosphere of love, acceptance, and security.
I encourage you to watch this video right now and try out a
few of the things that you'll discover - you'll be surprised by how quickly
they work.
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